The Past Is Gone, But Something Might Be Found (To Take Its Place)
by Ricechex
Summary: Inspired by the song, "Hey Jealousy," by Gin Blossoms. Because that song gives me Estranged!McKirk feels. And then I pass them on to you good people. "Bones." Leonard licks his lips. "Jim." Jim smiles, then winces. "It's, uh… been a while." Leonard stands there, staring at him. Then finally, he steps back and lets Jim in.


Leonard thinks that he should have expected it, really. Who the fuck else would be knocking on his door at what-the-hell o'clock.

"Bones."

Leonard licks his lips. "Jim."

Jim smiles, then winces. "It's, uh… been a while." He scratches absently at the back of his neck.

Leonard stands there, staring at him. Then finally, he steps back and lets Jim in.

"Thanks, Bones."

Jim steps into the living room, sitting gingerly on the edge of the couch. Leonard grabs a med kit and perches on the coffee table, his scowl firmly in place as his hands move without much input from his brain.

Some things just don't leave your system, it seems.

"I, uh… could I stay here? Just for the night?"

Leonard's jaw clenches, and he blows a breath out through his nose, then nods.

"Yeah. Sure."

The cold cotton swab full of antiseptic makes Jim jump. "Jeez, warn a guy would ya?"

Leonard licks his lips again, sucking them between his teeth and biting down enough to leave marks. Better that than the number of responses he wants to shout at Jim.

Minutes pass as he works, cleaning and checking and cleaning again, and Jim just watches him, turning his head when he feels Leonard's fingers carefully press against his cheek.

"I'm sorry, Bones."

Leonard pauses then, looking at him blankly. "What for?"

Jim closes his eyes and lets out a shuddering breath. "Everything."

When he opens his eyes again, Leonard's looking for something in his med kit.

"Everything's a pretty tall order, Jim."

Jim reaches out, grabs one of his hands and squeezes, and Leonard looks up. "I know I fucked up."

Leonard doesn't say anything, because there really isn't anything to say. Denying it would make him a liar, and agreeing won't change what happened.

"But… Dammit Bones, _I miss you_."

Leonard closes his eyes and ducks his head. He lets his other hand finish rooting around for the dermal regenerator, and he doesn't pull his hand out of Jim's.

He tells himself that it's because he doesn't care - so what if Jim's touching him? So what if Jim's thumb is rubbing small lines across his knuckles like he used to after-

No.

Leonard swallows thickly, and takes his hand back to position the regen unit.

"Let that sit for fifteen minutes."

"We should do something tomorrow."

Leonard frowns. "What?"

Jim shrugs. "You. Me. Go out, find some trouble, have some fun. Like we used to, back at the academy."

Leonard rolls his eyes and snorts at Jim's idea of _fun_, which used to involve scraping together every last credit they could spare and drinking until Jim decided to find some knuckles that he thought would match his face nicely.

Leonard begins cleaning up, grabbing the cotton swabs and tossing them into the reprocessor. "I'll get you a blanket and a pillow, kid."

Jim doesn't say anything.

Leonard comes back to the room seven minutes later with his arms full. Jim takes them gratefully, and smiles up at him around the regen unit.

Leonard checks it, repositions it.

"I forgot how nice Georgia is in the fall."

Leonard nods absently, humming.

"I like what you've done with the place."

Leonard quirks an eyebrow. "You mean the strenuous choice of a fresh coat of white paint?"

Jim grinned. "Yep."

Leonard rolls his eyes and pulls the regen unit off Jim's face. "Alright, you should be fine now."

Jim waggles his eyebrows. "That your professional opinion, Doctor?"

Leonard shakes his head. "Get some rest, Jim."

"You too, Bones."

Leonard's foot is on the bottom stair when Jim calls out again.

"Bones?"

Leonard looks back over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

Jim smiles softly. "Thanks again."

Leonard nods, and climbs the stairs.

He closes his door behind him, climbs back into bed, and waits.

Twelve minutes later, he hears the stairs creak, and he smiles ruefully.

_So damn predictable_.

The door eases open, and he flips back the covers. Jim slides in beside him, pulling him close. Leonard lets himself sink into the feeling of Jim there, real and solid and _not fucking imaginary for once_, and when Jim buries his face against Leonard's collarbone, he lets himself run his fingers through Jim's hair and breathe in the scent of him.

"Tell me I'm not too late, Bones."

Leonard keeps his eyes closed as he leans his cheek against Jim's temple.

"Wha'd'you think, kid?"


End file.
